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Patchwork family is an open community for system constellations


Patchwork family is a family in which the partners have already been in significant relationships and their children from these relationships and/or exes are present in family life.

Yes, it is not exact and unambiguous “definition”. It is easier to feel than to describe. The family, in which there are “pieces” old families and relationships.

By the way, the Russian word “patchwork” (blanket) has hue “made out of old unwanted things”. Moreover, from my grandmother’s old dresses, mother’s skirts and dresses daughter from where she grew up. The “dynamics”. But the definition of “patchwork family” not invented in Russian, and the word “patchwork” has an entirely different idea. It is the harmonious combination of different 🙂

Hellinger, working with patchwork families earlier ( in the period of “sequential lineups”) focused on ensuring that all partners are visible and accepted. I would even say “equally”. And practiced phrase recognition by new partners to address the same. “Thank you, that you were with her. Now I’m her husband. Thank you that he left the place”.

Second, what often worked Hellinger, this clarity in the status of the new spouse’s children from a previous marriage. “Thank you, Dima, what do you care about my son” (mother – his new wife), “Thank you, Dima, that you took care of me when I was a kid” (the child – the husband of the mother). “Daddy I have one. He’s my father, he and no other. Thank you that you raised me and cared for me”. So the child may withdraw from the frequent dynamics moms “son, this is your new daddy. He’s good, and that was bad”.

In practice there are like a patchwork family, where hellengerst orders and phrase recognition is appropriate and those where it is not appropriate.

The point here is, in particular, that if patchwork family has developed as a patchwork, its members linked by other systematic bases. Not only that they were husband and wife and parents left, and everything in between is “incomplete relations”. Not only.

For example, if a man cares about the son of his wife from her previous marriage, and, assume, pay him education is a new system on a different basis. He not only “husband of his mother”, he is also the one who provided him with an education.

Sometimes the system is formed with complex cross-relationships “head” will not track. For example, a woman entered into a second marriage. And, like the mother of her second husband gave up his apartment for her first husband (to quickly moved out), and second husband, enters the apartment where he lived with his first wife, bought a new mother-in-law a house in the village. By the way, my sister his frustrated bride. Etc.)

Easier “to place and see” what in this family harmonious order. And then come the unique processes of recognition, open stories that soul lives with different partners. It is seen very clearly that it’s the same story – the first, the second, the third Chapter. (one such arrangement I did for the group yesterday)

Difficulties such setups:

a lot of people want “to go and decide” their dynamics 🙂

especially if it’s the speakers first husband. Well they are all the same! Here’s mine, too.

(most importantly,the client will really agree that you have sailed in the former. )

The same happens with the deputies, they sail in the dynamics of their prototypes. Yesterday we had 11 people at some point. To leave “in the field” is very easy. That’s just who we will then present the result.

From rasstanemsya you want to be very clear and in a good “deep”, to avoid falling into the past history “through” and to raise them only if there is a clear feeling that it is now for the client is important.

How to find out what is important and what is not?

You have to read the field. There “written”. Slim pickings strategies from comprehension of field and clarity.

And the same slim reading will be required when ristanovic will find unique positioning of figures and phrase recognition. What then is the logic, it becomes clear only later. First, just open the place and this man should stand here and say he needs this. Then the client will explain about what it was 🙂