Your child is afraid of the dark, afraid to be alone. Where is the line between normal and abnormal? What was the cause of fear? How to understand what scares baby? All these questions sooner or later asks himself every parent.
What is fear?
Fear is the most dangerous of all emotions. It is a reaction to real or imaginary (but experienced as the reality of the danger. The human body is designed so that combat fear cannot last long. On a biological level, fear is the secretion into the blood of a large amount of adrenaline that causes in the human body hormonal explosion. On a psychological level, is a fear of situations, objects, people, events) that result in the secretion of this hormone. Fear is a familiar feeling which we experience quite often. Once having experienced fear in some situations, we will experience similar feelings every time in similar cases. Fear comes with the experience. We are scared that once disturbed our soul and consciousness. Rarely those who are afraid of subjects and situations, which really never was, or at least not seen or read about it. Fears appear together with the cognitive activity, the child grows and begins to learn about the world. It develops in society, and leading role in the education of adults play. So how competent are our words and behavior, depends on the mental health of the baby.
Where are the fears
The first reason and the most obvious – specific case, which frightened the child was bitten by a dog, stuck in the Elevator). Such fears are the easiest to correction. But not all children bitten by a dog develops persistent, noticeable to others fear. This largely depends on the nature of the child (anxiety, mistrust, pessimism, self-doubt, dependence on others, etc.) And these traits can occur if the parents themselves bullied child . “Don’t go to sleep – take Baba Yaga!” For the most part, we teach our children to fear. A careless word may permanently deposited in the memory of the child and lead to irreparable consequences, when the baby will be afraid at the unconscious level. The cause of children’s fears can be numerous restrictions from parents and caregivers, as well as the anger and threats of the adult to the child . So the most common is ingrained fears . Their source is the adults around the child (parents, grandparents, caregivers) who involuntarily, sometimes too emotional, warn the child about the dangers, often not even paying attention to what scared him more: the situation itself or the reaction to her adult. As a result, the child perceives only the second part of the sentence: “do Not go – gonna fall “, “don’t get – fired “, “Not surface – bite “. The child is not yet clear what he threatened, but he clearly feels the anxiety, and of course, that he has a fear reaction, which can gain a foothold and spread over the initial situation. Such fears can now be fixed for life. Of course, when the child grows up, fear relief, but will not disappear! Children’s imagination . one of the most frequent causes of fear. Child emotional creature. Often he chooses to be the subject of fear. Do many of us were not afraid in the childhood of the dark? Why? Is it because in the dark before our eyes came alive with monsters and ghosts, and from each corner pounced on us monsters? But every child reacts differently to such fantasies. Someone will forget and calm down. And someone it can lead to irreparable consequences. There are intra-family conflicts. Very often the child feels guilty for the conflict of parents and is afraid to be the cause of them. Very often the cause of fear the child may be the relationship with their peers . If children’s team does not accept the child . offends it, and the kid doesn’t want to go to kindergarten, it is likely that he is afraid to be humiliated. Just cause can be spread fears among children. For example, stronger child can intimidate a little different stories. The last reason is the presence of a more serious disorder – neurosis . which should be diagnosed and treated by physicians. A manifestation of neurosis can be considered, those fears, which are not considered normal for this age of a child or a very strong manifestation of fears, which are included in the concept of norm (see table). Children’s neurosis of fear can be a hereditary disease transmitted to all members of the same family. In this case, this refers to the inheritance type of the nervous system and its features. Some children are prone to various nervous disorders, i.e. they are more vulnerable, more emotional, such children often cry, have tantrums often happen. Therefore, the appearance of some critical situation knocks them off track even more. For example, people with imunodeficito often get sick, they “stick” all infections. And children with shattered psyche and neuroses, get in addition to fears.
Types of fears
Some fears accompany a certain age period. In children under one year expressed as a concern at loud sounds . and also associated with the absence of the mother or her mood. In 2-3 years the child may be afraid of punishment, pain (for example, a doctor) , loneliness and especially of the dark . These fears are typical and normal for a child of this age. Later in 3-4 years . appear the fears associated with the development of a child’s imagination . The kid can come up with some sort of monster, and then long to be afraid of him, thinking that it lives under Cabinet. In children 6-7 years of age may receive the fear of death . its or their loved ones. The child already knows that people can die, so many ordinary household or natural situation (thunder, storm, etc.) can cause panic. There are 3 types of fears. The classification of lie the subject of fear, especially of its flow, length, power, and causes. 1. Obsessive fears . These fears the child has in certain, specific situations, afraid of the circumstances that may entail. These include, for example, fear of heights, of closed and open spaces, etc. 2. Delusional fears . This is the most severe form of fears, the cause of which is impossible to find. For example, why a child is afraid to play with some toy or afraid to wear some clothes. Their presence often indicates serious deviations in the psyche of the baby. But if you find your child has this type of fear, one should not be afraid. Perhaps the reason is quite logical. For example, the child is afraid to wear certain shoes, because he’s just once they slipped and fell, a painful blow, and now is afraid of a repetition of the situation. 3. Overvalued fears. These fears are the most common. They are associated with certain ideas, as they say, with the “ideas” of ivysunny own child’s imagination . 90% of practicing psychologists are faced with them. These fears, as a rule, children are “stuck” and can’t “pull out” of his imagination. First, they correspond to any life situation, and then become so significant that any other child to think. Children’s overvalued fear are: fear of the dark in which children’s imagination settled horrible witches, werewolves and ghosts, fairy tale characters, as well as the fear of losing, attack, water, fire, pain, and sharp sounds. For example, fear of water theoretically can be attributed to two types of fear: obsessive and overvalued. But if a child was drowning, and now is afraid of water is obsessive fear, and if not the reasons, then it is overvalued . There are main types of fears, which at a certain age is considered normal.