How to deal with postpartum depression
You need to understand that the condition of postpartum depression is normal for mothers, especially if the child is their first child. Every mother should be aware of this and try to develop positive skills to cope with the situation, not blaming herself that she is a bad mother, and others that they are bad helpers.
It is important that the expectations of mothers regarding herself, her baby, her husband were flexible and realistic . you have to believe in yourself and that everything will be fine. A woman needs to accept the fact that she can’t always control the situation completely and rule it as she would like – real life is always full of surprises. And these surprises are not only bad, but good.
No need to isolate from the environment, locking in the house to blame yourself or your husband, try to hold back, to cope alone, is proud to carry “the cross” . to sacrifice pleasure for the sake of business use, personal use, only for household chores. Those mothers whose goal is to match the image of a strong woman who is always “on top”, she always cope with all the problems, you risk to make the stress even more.
It is important to find time for yourself – to “remember” yourself as a woman, a person, not just as a mother, wife and housewife. Go to visit, chat with friends. Take care of yourself – visit pool, a gym, let someone take care of themselves (at least the hairdresser), buy yourself something nice clothes or anything else that the heart is cute. Remember to take good care of the children, we must first take care of yourself, to feel good.
If you plan on using for some time to return to work, maintain contact with colleagues, take an interest in what happens there. To keep up with life, to be informed, watch TV, read Newspapers. Not only need to focus on all the horrors, the tragedies and disasters that all the details are shown on television, are described in newspaper articles. Now you do not need, and sometimes it becomes very scary for your baby, you fear that you will not be able to protect him from all the vicissitudes of life. And depression will decrease. Better see a good Comedy or romance, read a good book that can lift your mood, which is necessarily passed on to your child. If you want your kid to grow up in a cheerful, optimistic, try to be in a good mood, know how to enjoy life.
It is also important to be able to accept help from others . Do not be shy to ask for help family, friends, neighbors, neighbor’s teenagers, which, incidentally, can be a very good nanny. For example, someone who you can walk with the baby, to clean the kitchen, cook dinner, buy something or just sit with a child while his mother is busy with other things.
It is very important to keep negative thoughts and feelings to yourself . it is better to discuss them with her husband. Don’t turn these conversations into a showdown. You should not accuse her husband of neglect, lack of diligence, in an effort to escape from household chores.
The husband, in turn, must understand that he feels his wife. He (and other relatives) should understand the state of the young mother, to accept him, not believing that she can cope with depression, and help her.
The husband must make his wife had the opportunity to sleep and escape from routine. In addition, its task is to remind the wife that she is not only the mother of his child, but the woman that motherhood does not “spoiled”. Need to give my wife flowers, compliment, invite to the theater, cinema, restaurant. And find at this time people who can babysit.
Often after the birth of a child in the family having a strained relationship between the spouses. A young mother spends all of his time and energies to the care of the child, she sleeps little, eats irregularly, can’t find time for her husband, often decreases sexual activity. As a result the problems that previously existed between the spouses.
The husband may feel that his wife does not pay any attention to him, she is only concerned with the child. He feels rejected, abandoned, although not always openly expresses his feelings. Besides, the man in the first time may not have any paternal feelings for the child, not to get joy from communication with him.
The young father of the family, financial problems arise, because now the family has grown, and the wife to work yet. Man understands that, on the one hand, he has financial security, but on the other hand, counting on his help around the house. Some husbands “run away” from all these problems at work, feeling a sense of guilt towards his wife for what little help it. This feeling of guilt alienates man from his family more and more. And there may come a time when between a husband and wife built a wall of mutual incomprehension and resentment. It is clear that this situation in itself can cause depression in women.
What to do to keep family relationships at the same level? First of all, husband and wife must become partners, and then problems will be less. A good way to cope with difficulties is the method of planning of work: to assign responsibilities, to determine who of the spouses making, – for a day, a week, a month in advance.
Mild form of postpartum depression experience many young mothers . usually, it goes pretty fast. In severe cases, depression can be delayed and cause great harm both the mother and her child. Because the mother is in this state, behaves like a robot performs all its responsibilities for child care, but does it mechanically, smiling baby, do not join with him in emotional contact. In response, the child loses a sense of comfort, becomes alert, indifferent, unsmiling. And as a result inhibited the development of emotional sphere and communicative skills.
Young parents should find time for each other to be alone together for a walk, relax, going to the theatre, and just talk heart to heart, discussing their problems.
Mother in a state of pronounced and prolonged postpartum depression . need the help of specialists (doctors, psychologists, psychotherapists) who have different ways of dealing with postpartum depression. So, there are special complexes of physical therapy, contributing to discharge negative energy, positive emotion, relaxation. You can call for help of phytotherapy (eg, herbal teas, normalizing emotional background), aromatherapy (the selection of flavors that regulate mood).
In any case, a young mother, we must remember that postpartum depression is not forever, that it is quite possible to cope with, so do not despair and give up. According to experienced mothers, salvation from depression – in flexibility, sense of humor and patience.