How to respond to children’s not want and will not
There is a widespread belief that the Country of the rising sun to 7 years children almost nothing is forbidden, so as not to harm the development of your child’s individuality. But to raise a child in Japanese – this does not mean to indulge him in everything. Local families a very strong tradition, people used to respect their elders and obey them. And children, despite the apparent permissiveness, behave tolerably well.
Strictly speaking, in Japanese, Spartan, Spock or something else – no matter. Will you choose a specific education system or maybe invent your own, one goal – to teach the baby to live independently in society. The child was stable psyche (and the whims – just a manifestation of instability), no need to rush from one extreme to the other extreme: today, everything is possible and tomorrow method of education is changing on almost a barracks. Our article – not on how to make something the way you want, and how to agree!
«I will Not eat!”
Whims at the table are like a red thread through many family stories. For example, the baby gets used to the bottle and refuses to eat with a spoon or drink from a Cup. This is not a problem: you need to feed your baby when eaten with other family members – will develop a stereotype of behavior. With time everything will fall into place – do not rush things.
If the child refuses to eat their own, I try to play a game of robbers, who first take the food with hands and then become kings and eat is important and beautiful. Don’t be afraid sometimes to support your child in small pranks – play with it. It’s unlikely to spoil it if you’ll be sincere and without manipulation and blackmail.
If an older child refuses certain foods and products, despite all your culinary tricks, don’t make there by force and not talk to him. Correctyou diet so that baby is getting the right vitamins and minerals. And poor appetite – is not a reason to scold the child or to perform African dances with the whole family at a time when he still eats. In this case, you must be examined by a pediatric gastroenterologist, more walk in the air and move!
NB! Never Rastogi compliments and don’t thank the child for what he eats – the child quickly learns you to manipulate. But in the “potted” all cases should be exactly the opposite: praise is simply necessary – in each successful case.
“don’t go to bed!”
To child asleep at 21.30, enough to put him at this time during the month: the biological clock soon “tune” yourself. But the rise should be early: if you allow to sleep late in the morning, sleep is not voluntary and easy. Accustoming the child to order, be ready to stick to it, even on weekends. Yes, you too, will have to get up early. But, first, you can alternate with her husband, secondly, the child’s body will get used to be active in the morning, which is very important – because it is a time of lessons in school. When life is subordinated to the usual routine, the baby feels confident and relaxed. He will not come to protest! The education of a son or daughter – is to work on yourself, because you must learn to be both rigorous and mental. Well, if you have a ritual: half an hour chatting before bedtime. Let your child share his impressions per day, this tradition will help you to really make friends. The evening of disobedience – attempt to gain the mother’s attention. Visit with your child! As he grew older he will be able to speak with you about their experiences more openly, you will have to do this time and place.
NB! Develop rules that will be respected regardless of whether to visit the grandmother, the child was unwell or off today. It is important that you and the baby’s father (and other relatives involved in education) follow a coherent line of conduct: if someone said “no”, the other must not say “Yes”. By the way, so you will significantly reduce the likelihood of children’s whims in the future.
“don’t want to get dressed!”
If you’re not prone to Hyper and give the child enough attention, this problem will not be yours. Small children don’t want to dress themselves for several reasons. You may not encourage independent action of the baby (for example, not praised for dressed topsy-turvy socks, and in a hurry to change clothes), because for you the right result is more important. You need to tell and show the child why need to wear socks that way – it’s just convenient. Often the child doesn’t want to dress myself, wanting once again to attract attention, be on time “to the center of the universe”. And there is only one way to spend more time together.
If an older child refuses to wear anything from clothes or shoes, find out why. Perhaps the thing is really uncomfortable. If she just doesn’t like it, don’t make the child, crushing parental authority.
NB! Admit it, you’d hate to wear clothes that you do not like. Try to continue to buy things with your child. But if the choice is made, the vagaries inappropriate.
“And why do I need to remove?”
To instill kid neatness, buy a special basket or box for toys and occasionally praise their child for unprecedented dexterity when cleaning cars or dolls. Machinas three years, use the same tactics, but slightly improve it: praise not for what he takes away, and for the result – the toys collected. Also gradually produced by skill classification (dolls, books, and cars – on different shelves or in different boxes). For clothes will have to allocate private place, for example, a little chair and a dresser with drawers. In him the child with pleasure will put the graded mom clean and ironed things.
NB! In 7 years, the approach to cleaning is somewhat different: tell that child ’ s an adult and to maintain order – his duty. And scattered things in the room – a reason to remain without a cartoon or sweets. But tell your child that even when you give him something “put on view”, this does not mean that it did not like.
“No, don’t ask me!”
Approximately half of the children going to kindergarten with pleasure. The second half – on the mood. If your child, emotionally try to saturate this event: how many interesting things you can see on the road! You can become closer with your child, to the same minute of a conversation with my mother develop attention, imagination, speech that enriches his inner world. And be sure to ask your child: maybe he’s afraid tonight it won’t take it, can not establish a relationship with someone from children or feels uncomfortable in the team. These issues will be resolved – baby it is advisable to learn how to communicate with their peers before he will go to the first class.
But if the child prefers a book watching cartoons on TV and refuses to read, will have to go to the trick. For example, to subscribe to a comic book or craft projects. Boy you need to buy colorful encyclopedia about cars and the girl – about dolls. Of course, access to the TV would have to be curtailed.
NB! Physical punishment is unacceptable – what would the son or daughter did. Violence hardens the child, undermining his trust in you and the world. Don’t hurt child’s soul: child personality – he was born. Lots of love do not happen, but the rules have not been canceled. You can always negotiate!