Parents and children
How much is written, much is said about the relationship between parents and children. And things are there. Many parents dissatisfied with their children, criticizing their actions and want to live life for them. In turn, the children silently hate their parents for interfering in their lives, for control and manipulation, scandals and reproaches.
And this situation has been continued for thousands of years and most likely appeared simultaneously with the emergence of mankind.
Of course, there are a few happy families, where between parents and children prevails respect and understanding. And I want to believe that most of these families. But in this article I would like to refer to it is destructive families. Families that do harm to normal and the free development of personality.
So, what kinds of relationships do happen in families.
1. Parents are tyrants. Parents try to completely subjugate the will of the children. They control their every move, every action. Of course, this is covered with talk of love and care. But love does not control and is not overwhelming. True love believes and supports, demanding nothing in return. And how many parents tried to convince themselves and others that they wish the child well, they pursue only one goal – total control over the lives of their children. What are the scenarios in such a family? Child or runs away from the family, to be able to live my life. Or completely subjugates his will to parents and turns into a plant. Unfortunately, the first option is not ideal, because in most cases the child remains the resentment of the parents for life, and he will subconsciously build in your future family relations, which he witnessed in his childhood.
2. Weak and spineless parents. It is parents who have not achieved anything in life and therefore have nothing to give their children. These parents, for their parents, not the authority. In such families often become children of Tirana, which completely control and manipulate their parents. Such children often grow socially maladjusted adults. Though of course there are exceptions.
3. Our parents were friends. Good option for family relations. If you have such parents, consider yourself lucky. These parents trust their children, allow them to live its own life. Such parents often look younger than their age and are interested in the Hobbies of young people. These parents are good that at least do not hinder the development of their children, do not get into their personal lives, leave ample room for freedom and development.
4. Unfeeling parents. This deprived and deeply unhappy people who don’t know how and can’t love. For them children are not more than age-old problem. They never hug, kiss, do not tell their children of tender words. From them you can often hear: “Why we’re you born. You’re whole life is ruined”. Children from such families 2 version of the future. They are also in life do not show any feelings, and this affects how they and their surroundings. Or the child firmly decided for myself that it all will be different. Often, children in these families in the future become very loving and affectionate parents.
5. And probably the best option, parents as Tutors. These parents truly are their children. They don’t just give them to kindergarten, then to school, Institute. And then diluted in disbelief hands, because my kids and I have no sympathy. Parents are mentors, genuinely interested in their children, communicate with them, approve of any of their choices, helping you make the right decision. Such parents watching their children’s interests, and help them at an early age to find his calling. These parents will never say to your child: go to study or work here because I in my youth wanted, and now you get to realize my dreams. These parents will never manipulate their children, forcing them to do what the parents see fit. Parents – mentors have a full selection of development your child, help him, suggest, doing everything to ensure that the child has found his own path in life. Unfortunately, such parents are in the minority. Maybe because for years we teach physics, mathematics, literature, and other sometimes completely meaningless things, but nobody ever teaches us how to be parents who can nurture a truly happy and harmonious children.
It is no secret that many people throughout his life continues in one form or another to suffer because of the relationship with parents. Someone refuses or avoids contact. Other constantly be arguing about, scandals and figure out a relationship. And some choose the option of a humble and obedient child, that simulates a wonderful family relationships, and secretly hates his parents for his unsuccessful life. If you have a really warm and sincere relationship with my parents, I heartily congratulate. Although there’s a very strong likelihood that you just don’t realize the influence of parents on your seemingly self-selection and do not notice the hidden manipulation. Although maybe for you it’s for the best.
“That;to what useful things I can learn from this article, you might think. I already know that a normal and loving families very little. With this we just have to accept it.” Turns out, the most important is yet to come.
So, you have such parents and no other. You have such a relationship with them. You are offended at them, get angry, sulk or harbored anger deep inside. And what to do about this? And to continue to carry that with them through life? And continue to suffer and blame their parents? And what do you choose?
I suggest you not to forgive their parents. Yes, that’s right, you read that right. Not to forgive! Why? Because the fact of forgiveness implies that offended you, made you sick and now you, as the great judge can punish or pardon the convict. Therefore, I propose another, much more effective option.
I suggest to sincerely thank your parents. And to do it right now. Why put it off? To thank them for the scandals, accusations, manipulation, suppression and control for cutting in your personal life and imposing my opinion.
Why thank me? It’s worth doing though, because you chose your parents. Chose the time and place of his birth, believe it or not. Such parents needed for your formation as a personality, for your development and growing up. If, for example, your parents are tyrants and constantly pressing on, you simply vital to thank them for this lesson, but at the same time become a strong and confident personality. Believe me, once you will gain confidence in their abilities, parents will cease to pressure you. You will simply cease to notice it or the fact of pressure, you will no longer hurt.
So why still want to sincerely thank my parents:
You chose such tests. These tests you need for your growth and development. Thanking parents, you will live much easier and more enjoyable. You will become more joyful and happy. Having experienced difficult relationships with parents, you get invaluable experience and now know exactly what you want relationships in your future family. You are responsible for your life and no parent can spoil it without your consent. Only thanking their parents and sent them out, you will be able to move on.
In this case, the concept of gratitude I urge you to obey in all things your parents, be diligent children and does not disappoint. I encourage you to live your life, to make your own decisions, to be free from the negative influence of parents. But not to get angry and not be offended by them. Well, if the parents are offended, angry and upset because you refuse to obey them and not go through life the way they believe is right, it is only their problem. It is your life, you need it to live, and nobody has the right to tell you how you can do, and what not.
Give thanks to your parents today.